I'll be posting shit on tumblr now. Not to join the horde.. I think blogspot is a tad too big for the stuff I'm doing. So, whatever.

http://djeezes.tumblr.com

So ok, I don't know who or what I am. Leaning towards being no one.
I'm just in a crisis, which I am reacting to.
But I never had a clue. NEVER

Prospect

Real, It has never been. And It shall never be more.
Not in the world, where past and future ensnares us.
So I yell at it, the great dark. That bottomless ocean which I have to face.
But it's within, all my failures, that it speaks.
I see no moral obligations. With all my self-loathing, o starve my heart.

her fleeting heart, my only hope.
she destroys me to the core, yet obtains me.
i violently leap in rage and the whole world rips in two.
all there is, anger and guilt, to have, revenge upon myself.
my retribution hisses within a sigh.

Sakura

You are silently waiting, you are growing old, you are dying.

And we wail and we wail, trough the songs of this everlasting drought.

The spectre's charcoal received when born has tainted the spirit.

When do we part and long for ourselves? To brazenly breathe and gawk.

Completely feel that in your hands lies the soil, so in the glistening sun,
you wish to inhale.

It retired, resigned, hopped, stopped and got clogged.
It fought, caught, released, pleased and stopped.
It came, went, fell, held and dropped.

And when it took its final gasp, the world scorched a perennial cimmerian shade

I love how nobody reads this

there could be times and feelings that never had to exist in the first place.

NO, NOTHING IS CERTAIN, NOT ANY MORE

Perhaps

I've never had a calling to be something other than the feeling I have to run away from everything.
And these days it's getting harder to get my shit together and not leave everyone behind with their thoughts to haunt them. And I wouldn't even care, I'd look for the most beautiful thing I can see and I would want to die in that moment. This feeling surpasses everything and I can't even get it in to words properly. It may make me irresponsible, but I need to be what I mean to be.

Perhaps, I like that word. So perhaps, it's one of those days. Or perhaps it's the winter.

Never shall you fake sadness as you could do happiness. The pure chill against the smiling gift.

To approve or disagree, is to want and not be free.
Only in solitary does the spectator emerge.
Able to see and feel, these worlds are bigger than us.
Yet set astray and thus they flee to come undone.

life made obligatory

I'm fading.
Into a world of nothingness.
The weight of my flesh and the wish to be dust.

I think we're all destroying love, just by having to know what it differs from.
And it's all probably a flaw in our nature. A side-effect of procreation.
It is, deceased. Until, like the phoenix, it returns, just to die another time.

Here we are. Where only now is forever.
And I could die without regret.

I'm not sure about love, but I am desperately searching.
And somewhere, where time ends, it begins.
Out of them all, you make me care.
So illusion or not..

Answer questions with questions.
Infinite potential comes with ever-growing knowlegde.
For it is curiosity that stirs the mind, makes us wonder and makes us imagine.

Trusted lover or total stranger

Verraderlijk, veranderlijk.

Ik en mijn vijand. De oneindige liefde.
De geborgen leugen. Telkens opnieuw.
Hemels vol met regenbogen, wat kan dat voor een leven zijn?

Bazen en zaken, verlaten als hazen, de mensen die jou op stang jagen.
Verloren in hopen, massa's die lopen, kopen en alles verkloten.
Dit is genoeg, het einde des dagen, ligt voor de boeg.
Ga maar gaan staken, voor alles een kreet slaken.
De hoop die je ziet, is gedoemd.

Niemand kent mij. Dat is mijn ondergang.
Dat is onmogelijk.

"All we ever see of stars are their old photographs."

I'm screaming for the illusion to arrive.
All I get are dusty images from the past.
The future I predict for myself is no sweet sight.
I'm either dead or alive.

Maybe I'll stop convincing myself that this is it.