lucidity

2011-08-04T17:37:00.001+02:00

I'll be posting shit on tumblr now. Not to join the horde.. I think blogspot is a tad too big for the stuff I'm doing. So, whatever.

http://djeezes.tumblr.com

2011-05-02T12:56:00.001+02:00

So ok, I don't know who or what I am. Leaning towards being no one.
I'm just in a crisis, which I am reacting to.
But I never had a clue. NEVER

Prospect

2011-04-29T03:32:00.003+02:00

Real, It has never been. And It shall never be more.
Not in the world, where past and future ensnares us.
So I yell at it, the great dark. That bottomless ocean which I have to face.
But it's within, all my failures, that it speaks.
I see no moral obligations. With all my self-loathing, o starve my heart.

2011-03-28T19:54:00.002+02:00

her fleeting heart, my only hope.
she destroys me to the core, yet obtains me.
i violently leap in rage and the whole world rips in two.
all there is, anger and guilt, to have, revenge upon myself.
my retribution hisses within a sigh.

Sakura

2011-03-03T20:18:00.001+01:00

You are silently waiting, you are growing old, you are dying.

And we wail and we wail, trough the songs of this everlasting drought.

The spectre's charcoal received when born has tainted the spirit.

When do we part and long for ourselves? To brazenly breathe and gawk.

Completely feel that in your hands lies the soil, so in the glistening sun,
you wish to inhale.

2011-03-02T14:41:00.002+01:00

It retired, resigned, hopped, stopped and got clogged.
It fought, caught, released, pleased and stopped.
It came, went, fell, held and dropped.

And when it took its final gasp, the world scorched a perennial cimmerian shade

2010-12-23T04:56:00.001+01:00

I love how nobody reads this

2010-12-12T14:18:00.001+01:00

there could be times and feelings that never had to exist in the first place.

NO, NOTHING IS CERTAIN, NOT ANY MORE

Perhaps

2010-12-08T21:47:00.004+01:00

I've never had a calling to be something other than the feeling I have to run away from everything.
And these days it's getting harder to get my shit together and not leave everyone behind with their thoughts to haunt them. And I wouldn't even care, I'd look for the most beautiful thing I can see and I would want to die in that moment. This feeling surpasses everything and I can't even get it in to words properly. It may make me irresponsible, but I need to be what I mean to be.

Perhaps, I like that word. So perhaps, it's one of those days. Or perhaps it's the winter.

2010-11-15T02:30:00.001+01:00

Never shall you fake sadness as you could do happiness. The pure chill against the smiling gift.

2010-11-06T16:08:00.002+01:00

To approve or disagree, is to want and not be free.
Only in solitary does the spectator emerge.
Able to see and feel, these worlds are bigger than us.
Yet set astray and thus they flee to come undone.

2010-08-25T22:46:00.001+02:00

life made obligatory

2010-07-12T11:46:00.002+02:00

I'm fading.
Into a world of nothingness.
The weight of my flesh and the wish to be dust.

2010-06-24T18:15:00.001+02:00

I think we're all destroying love, just by having to know what it differs from.
And it's all probably a flaw in our nature. A side-effect of procreation.
It is, deceased. Until, like the phoenix, it returns, just to die another time.

2010-06-13T19:10:00.000+02:00

Here we are. Where only now is forever.
And I could die without regret.

2010-06-04T17:13:00.002+02:00

I'm not sure about love, but I am desperately searching.
And somewhere, where time ends, it begins.
Out of them all, you make me care.
So illusion or not..

2010-05-31T17:36:00.002+02:00

Answer questions with questions.
Infinite potential comes with ever-growing knowlegde.
For it is curiosity that stirs the mind, makes us wonder and makes us imagine.

Trusted lover or total stranger

2010-05-29T21:39:00.003+02:00

Verraderlijk, veranderlijk.

Ik en mijn vijand. De oneindige liefde.
De geborgen leugen. Telkens opnieuw.
Hemels vol met regenbogen, wat kan dat voor een leven zijn?

Bazen en zaken, verlaten als hazen, de mensen die jou op stang jagen.
Verloren in hopen, massa's die lopen, kopen en alles verkloten.
Dit is genoeg, het einde des dagen, ligt voor de boeg.
Ga maar gaan staken, voor alles een kreet slaken.
De hoop die je ziet, is gedoemd.

2010-05-27T02:43:00.000+02:00

Niemand kent mij. Dat is mijn ondergang.
Dat is onmogelijk.

"All we ever see of stars are their old photographs."

2010-05-09T16:55:00.003+02:00

I'm screaming for the illusion to arrive.
All I get are dusty images from the past.
The future I predict for myself is no sweet sight.
I'm either dead or alive.

Maybe I'll stop convincing myself that this is it.

The smallest heart

2010-04-23T02:00:00.004+02:00

Everything known, diminished by the only thing that is wanted.
The image of a love, an everlasting incantation, swaying back and forth.
With all and none, the loading breath composes its own end.
The silhouettes are the dream itself, transformed to a vivid spectacle of friction.

A moment observed.

2010-04-15T18:25:00.002+02:00

The sun erased, a cold embrace.
A freezing stance, a wish fulfilled.
Daily enquiries initiate a haze of thought.
The light ridden temple has been corrupted.

2010-03-31T22:48:00.003+02:00

In the love you seek and the heart you feed. I am not your man.

In the hope you keep and the souls you reap. I am not your man.

In the hate you seed and the poison you bleed. I am not your man.

In the signs I behold, the seal I'd become.
To lie and tell the truth. I am not your man.

I can't imagine being human any more.

2010-03-26T18:29:00.005+01:00

There is no such thing as an adult. What we see here, are kids in big bodies.
Kids with the brain of a full grown person. Dangerous mixture to say the least.
Though I've had my doubts if this will ever improve, that our consciousness is willing to evolve..
This is what has to happen and we probably won't have to do a thing about it.

I see this fake economy collapsing but I can't figure out why an elite group would want this.
People in control must be smart enough to really realize that it's about power. Not pieces of paper.
We'll soon find out. I can feel it, but I could be wrong.

I can think and I do that a lot. But I can't speak nor talk. It's getting harder and harder to pretend. I do this because it feels like every one I know is a child of mine and I have to take care of them. I'm done, the love and hate relation doesn't even matter. Everything I imagined is still bullshit. But it's all I ever was. Nothing and everything.

2010-02-24T20:35:00.002+01:00

In the dirt digging river, that runs to the sea.
Sun rays that urge, the surface is tense.
By water as vapour, the mire runs deep.
Struggling muscles, levy the sludge.
Alas, there's no reason, the edge is too steep.
The circle is round, in what we conceived.

Yearning for nonexistence

2010-01-09T19:44:00.001+01:00

Whatever it is you make me to be, it's dying.

2009-11-02T22:00:00.001+01:00

I can't adapt. I don't think I ever will.

2009-10-20T17:40:00.004+02:00

The sadness, it's all I shall ever have.
It's slow and thorough, yet beautiful and without sorrow.
Fierce and commanding, yet freeing and independent.
The result of everything, the outcome to anything.
The source of realization, the way to reconsideration.
How I hope, you will never leave me.
And when it all befalls, you will be my crutch.

Just like you always were.
Even if hope springs forth out of misery.

There is no identity in I

2009-09-27T02:02:00.005+02:00

You'll see the light, man.
You'll see the heads of a thousand men popping up from the dark.
You'll say believing in I, is the only thing you can do.
But you knew it from the start, and will forget it 'till the end.
The reflection never stands.

Light years away

2009-09-22T18:27:00.005+02:00

Tumbling into infinity, invited to the demise of the ego.

Unconvincing lies for the sake of the material has urged to spawn resistance.
Inflicting all pain necessary to protect the self. In dangerous fields, known to flee and come to terms. Illusive entertainment, to keep apart in a secured and established environment.
One keeps the silence when awareness rises. Chooses to reflect
Accept the steps of this story, in history. To breathe it all again.

2009-08-10T04:34:00.006+02:00

I wish I had the guts, to stab the sword through.
To openly accept the inevitable and emend the mistake of life as we know it.
For only I bring to pass, this reality out of energy.
And so all shall cease to exist from my prospect.

I verify the flux of time. In these hands lies the stair of a void.
Carefully hold it and create music, my friends.

Irrefutably superfluous to the universe. Life does not emphasize existence.
And thus, all my nay saying becomes rather pointless.
But aren't we all.

2009-07-08T01:10:00.004+02:00

I no longer take the ride with pride.
In the face of pain, it has no gain.
To lose myself wouldn't be too bad.
All I've been is nothing but I pretended being there.
Relocating won't matter, but I'll savour this time.

2009-05-21T16:00:00.004+02:00

They don't want to hear your message of love. They've made the choice to fear.
In their empire, they are so blind to protect. And all because of the skyglow.
No place for dreams of joy and prosperity in the mind. Nothing to build upon.

fayre

2009-05-09T00:08:00.003+02:00

Words like sprites and electric flies.
Such an indecisive mind.

Sleep. Not sufficient. Cannot play the game.
But I am craving for long dreaded dreams
And now I place myself at your feet.
A slave in the kingdom of sheep.

The jewel

2009-04-06T00:19:00.001+02:00

We believe in ourselves because we validate the external. We justify our reasons and celebrate our meanings.

2009-04-01T14:27:00.003+02:00

At first there was light, the light was quickly corrupted by the dividing forces.
And so, the mountain came to be.

Not doubting the meaning, is what keeps the machine greased.
So question everything you perceive, and leave the moving pavement.
Confirm the facts.

2009-03-20T12:13:00.001+01:00

The mind is as vast as the universe it deludes itself in, and equally empty.

2009-03-20T12:09:00.002+01:00

Without the belief that this is reality, the light of truth would be blinding.

2009-03-11T18:40:00.001+01:00

You and the sun.
That's all I need.
And if the light is not,
I'll be.

2009-02-09T20:20:00.002+01:00

I want it to hurt so much, it sets me free.
I want it to sting so hard, it cleanses me.

humanity is dead.

2009-02-03T21:00:00.002+01:00

Born with open mind, they quickly feed you with prison bars.
"Close that down, no access allowed to this part of the toppling building."

My mind growls.

2009-01-31T15:31:00.004+01:00

The flame is out of control, it burns for others.
Others, not worth unlocking. Posses no soul.
No enlightenment, the weight crushes.
Too many black holes, they suck the life out of me.
What can I call home, when reality is pushing me out of its womb.

2009-01-23T19:17:00.003+01:00

2009-01-23T19:17:00.002+01:00

2009-01-23T18:58:00.001+01:00

Cosmos, all this talk makes no one walk. Let us float and slowly forget the breath of time.

We could be one.

2009-01-18T12:30:00.005+01:00

My mind is at war again. I can't make up whether I should care or not.
Could I make a difference, and should I even ponder about it.
Eventually, I do scare everyone. And whatever the purpose may be,
it seems I have no foundation to build upon. This generation is not yet ready,
to let go of their roots and fly into space.

It shouldn't be like this, we could be one.

Today

2009-01-14T14:18:00.002+01:00

The working class lights up in the earliest moonlight.
Shovels bite the sand, they silently celebrate their ignorance.
The day that spawns again, delivers anything but liberty.
It brings us nowhere, leaves us behind.
No eyes for the pain and suffering.

In Tyler Durden, we trust.

2009-01-11T13:55:00.002+01:00

A little piece of mind.

2009-01-01T03:48:00.002+01:00

There is no such thing as a new year. There is no such thing as time.
Time, as "we" know it, is only an agreement.
It's bullshit that people go around saying happy new year,
that they wish you the best luck. Nothing is going to change,
and humanity will still keep stabbing itself and each other in the back.
While everyone is partying and having the time of their life,
the world does not grow less ugly. And all the true beauty to be found,
that which is pure and neutral, is restricted by the swamps of cultures.
If we keep dividing and locking out our true potential as one, we are going to fail as humans.

Have a fucking lousy "new year"!
And for all the smart asses, who think I take life way to serious, you should really look into the mirror, as you believe in something that isn't there. LIFE is not as simple as YOU make it.

2008-12-25T22:55:00.001+01:00

Whether it be creation or destruction, look for beauty.

2008-12-11T14:19:00.001+01:00

everything i create becomes a desert. every choice cracks the earth, every thought haunts the wasteland.

Nothing more than.

2008-12-06T13:45:00.004+01:00

Schisms in my visions. My hands look like my feet.
Walking every dimension, in between these worlds I stray.
Time is getting heavier, the pace is too fast.
If only they'd see with my mind, these tears do not put out the embers.

If only they'd see with my eyes, I will not be able to make it,
without you. The truth never tasted so good.

2008-12-05T19:37:00.002+01:00

Sickening, they see me.
Behind the curtains of hate.
Sickening, I see them.
Behind the curtains of fear.

By the seeds we plant, who will grow?
Follow the will or drown in the sun rays.

2008-11-26T13:52:00.002+01:00

A bus, with female presence, blood pressure raises.
Windows cry, because of the melting snow.
Autumn tree, reflected by an industrial complex.
The tides of seasons have been incompetent.
The roadblock cascades, breaking the foundation.
Thus it delineates my intention.
Billboards show no mercy and neither will I.

2008-11-23T21:13:00.001+01:00

My tears become poisonous as my eyes behold the mire of human slavery.

2008-11-23T20:50:00.000+01:00

deserted lands tell us why we live, and so we struggle for our imagination.

2008-11-09T18:19:00.002+01:00

Build a tower for your god to blow it over.
Devour a land where we pretend,
your people are my people.
We shall unite with death.

2008-11-06T23:57:00.002+01:00

You all smile but I still feel unsought.
It's a lurid existence to which my heart confines.
A pale daydream that I cannot leave behind.

ensiform

2008-11-05T17:51:00.004+01:00

You're a breaker that wears a costume.
A pond showing ocean waters.
Tidal bores swim along and see your pain.
Warn you, with blooming thorns.
Be waves of ire, when you're a storm.

Heavy

2008-08-20T19:56:00.002+02:00

My chest, is caving in.
My thoughts are split in two.
My ideas are waging war.
And I, I am full of doubt.

The burden that I bear,
lovely as you are,
is killing me inside.

I can imagine loving someone to death.

2008-07-29T20:53:00.003+02:00

We live in a world ruled by hormones.

So where is my helping hand when I need it?
There's plenty more sea between the fish.

2008-07-03T22:48:00.001+02:00

The sky is grey and closed because of you.
Shadows commit suicide and the coöperation ends.

2008-07-01T16:42:00.001+02:00

The sky is blue and open for you.
So you create shadows where light comes through.

2008-06-26T07:23:00.002+02:00

I know who you are.
You were in my dreams.
You smiled at me and then you died.
I knew you and the curse you brought upon me.
In you arms, in open water.

2008-06-16T21:27:00.001+02:00

There are no rules. There is only the majority.

2008-06-16T21:10:00.001+02:00

In a way, feeling bad, is feeling good. Or would you rather pretend?

2008-06-16T17:59:00.003+02:00

I want it to hurt. So it gets stronger.
Who will understand this laughter?

Why do you not fear?

2008-06-16T17:33:00.001+02:00

I am as human as you are, but we all create our own values.

2008-06-12T22:56:00.002+02:00

The paved path through the woods.
Overgrown flowers sprout and conceal.
Leafless trees are weeping.

The cuts form my texture.
The lines form my crescent.
My wounds created me.

They know, the saw is not the sword of justice.
They hum; "Have we not suffered enough?"
They chant; "Is it love you seek?"

2008-06-07T23:10:00.001+02:00

I can't figure out what is worse. Being forced into life or choosing to die.

Believing it.

2008-06-04T17:51:00.002+02:00

I don't, not anymore. You make no sense at all.
Bloated, I've gone to balloon heaven.

Question it.

2008-06-02T21:52:00.004+02:00

I get it now. You don't want to see. One side of the story is enough.
Especially when it is backed by the higher order. By what people call the normality.
It's not about knowing it. It's about it making sense.
Nowadays, nothing makes sense.

I'll be leaving this place happily. To a place where I will truly meet myself.

White

2008-05-29T19:03:00.003+02:00

I want winter, I want everyone to feel as cold as I do.
I am frozen, this body controlled by emotion.
They make me sound so wrong.

When the sky looks like snow, like it has nothing to show.
Let go of our souls.

The clouds won't let themselves be torn by human eyes.
Let go of our souls.

The sun is too low.
The air is too cold.
Let go of our souls.

Mirror

2008-05-29T18:41:00.001+02:00

See yourself in everything, not in a mirror.

2008-05-22T20:06:00.000+02:00

You accept death, when you want to die.

2008-05-17T20:05:00.001+02:00

I am a monster and I can not create.

eat the snake that chokes you.

2008-05-12T13:18:00.001+02:00

It burns your eyes, in its fire of lies.
Its emptiness,its emptiness.
It turns the tides, in its flesh, it dies.

It drags you down, to the ground and beneath the soil.
It tells you what is, it shows you what lives.
It never ends, never ends, never ends.

2008-05-08T22:36:00.001+02:00

I’ve got to save you from this.
To bear witness to all and bring closure to this heart.
I’ve got to clear my mind.
Before the blade cuts its way, finds a reason to stay.

Fragile, little house, to whom do you listen.
Shivery and timeless, will peace be given.
Glisten, free from order. Speak in liberty.

What have I become?

2008-05-05T21:44:00.003+02:00

The people that know live like stars, surrounded by silence.

The world is engulfed in flames, soon it will peel the surface of our souls, when there is nothing left to define.

Until the answer to life is equal for every entity, we are left scattered in disarray.

These lines are bound. Energy is forever.

2008-04-20T15:18:00.004+02:00

The solar eclipse has to be one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.
Too bad I was so young, I would have experienced it more widely now.

2008-04-20T13:38:00.002+02:00

Sunday, time for some post-rock. To make this boring lonely day, even more deadly.
What else shall comfort the heart with understanding.

2008-04-16T18:29:00.003+02:00

There are two kinds of beauty, one is found in creation, the other is found in destruction.
Though the beauty is a point of view, when it is in the best intrest of everything around,
then it has with certainty, that flawless beauty.

-

Muscles, entrenched deep underneath the skin.
Will peace be given, as blood keeps flowing through the iron heart.
Rust, they shall give you what you deserve when it is too late.
Echoes enthralled in an occupied cave, living their lives.
Breeding and feeding untill it feels good. For some it was never that easy.

What causes me to fight, to keep going? I can sense me failing each test beforehand.
Counting the days, to my next step in happiness. And now, when it's too late, I crave for a second chance.

What right do I have to spoil their little happy world? What right did they have to take me in, to raise me to their pleasing.

Now, that the opression if starting to stall, they will treat you right, for a while, they will be there. We shall fall into this well again. Untill the next revolution, history repeats itself.
Close your eyes, you won't be using them. It is time, to self-destruct. Time.

Simplicity

2008-04-14T18:42:00.005+02:00

Simplicity is often misunderstood. Simplicity is not simple or easy at all.
Not in this world.

Where everything needs a name and everyone needs to feel they exist and mean something.
They can't see how small they really are, what they actually prove to be in an objective manner.
They can't see what is and make up big words like importance. The importance of religion, fashion, fame and money.

Go ahead and call it whatever you want. I will see your voice for what it is.
See the illusion behind time, motion and motive. It's complicated.